Start by creating space. Take a breath before you respond so your nervous system can settle. Notice what you are feeling and name it silently.
When the other person shares, listen for both the facts and the feeling underneath. Reflect back what you heard — “It sounds like you felt hurt when...” — and ask if you understood correctly.
Empathy does not mean you agree. It simply signals that you care about their experience. Once both of you feel heard, you can move toward problem-solving with far less tension.