Start by creating space. Take a breath before you respond so your nervous system can settle. Notice what you are feeling and name it silently.
When the other person shares, listen for both the facts and the feeling underneath. Reflect back what you heard — “It sounds like you felt hurt when...” — and ask if you understood correctly.
Kumva mugenzi wawe ntibivuze ko wumva kimwe nawe. Bigaragaza gusa ko wita ku byo anyuramo. Iyo mwembi mwumviswe, mushobora gushaka ibisubizo mutuje.